Dedicated to Tammy and Debbie
Recently, or not so recently, I encountered a huge change for myself. It may not sound huge to anyone else, but for me it was and is huge…although getting a little bit smaller with the slow growth since the day of the change.
I love my hair! A lot! Or should I say, I lovED my hair a lot? Yeah, that's better. I use to love my hair a lot! But something within me took over and made me go a little crazy with the decision of cutting it all off! Okay, maybe not ALL of it….but a big chunk of it! 15 inches to be exact. No that's not one of my many typos, fifteen inches, leaving me with just 8 inches…..if you do the math you will discover that I had 23 inches of hair! That's nearly two feet of hair, and thick hair, wavy, frizzy, able to give me headaches hair, hair that takes at LEAST five minutes to brush through all the knots, and that's on a good day. It was a big day for me when all that was gone, alright, so I have to stop saying 'all that' cause I did leave myself with some. But I've always had long-ish hair, it's never been above my shoulders. But this time it was cut to my chin! Such a weird feeling afterwards! So light and bouncy and who knew I could brush my teeth without spitting the toothpaste into my hair? And SO little shampoo? A month and a half later I still use too much most showers…and no brush? I don't need a brush? Wowie! At least now it can nearly fit into a pony tail without bobby pins! (only 3-6 used) Yay! I tried the French braid thing the other day, yeah, didn't really work out….getting a little ahead of the hair here.
Yes, it's a little bit weird that I am blogging about a hair cut, but it wasn't just any hair cut. Well for one, what I just told you - big change for me. And two, I was inspired to cut my hair, I felt the need to cut my hair, I wanted to cut my hair, not for myself but for someone else. Actually, for myself, I didn't really want to do this….but I did cause I knew I was doing it for someone else.
I was inspired to cut my hair. Does that sound weird? Maybe. I'll explain why. While on the Asia trip (yes it has something to do with Asia…just a little bit, well actually A LOT….Asia affects!!! WOO) my life was changed by a new and special relationship with my dear friend Debbie. Debbie is the administrator at my university and she got the incredible experience of being a leader on the trip which allowed us to continue the already existing friendship (which really started with the toilet paper incident I think! What about you Debbie?) into, I don't even know how to explain, Debbie is just so GREAT! And we hit it off so well! We shared so many good times of laughter! Fun! Gelato! Elephant riding! Shopping! Walking! Boat rides! Late night talks (or should I say early morning talks that began the night before?) all of which included belly aching laughter (okay I can't really say that cause there is no belly aching laughter compared to that of the start of our friendship). Debbie became one of my dearest friends on that trip, a friendship that I hope will last a lifetime!
While on the trip Debbie received news that her daughter Tammy was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was hard for Debbie to be so far away from her daughter while Tammy received this news back home and began this fight against such a terrible disease. There was uncertainty of whether or not Debbie should leave the trip to go home and be with her daughter or stick with it the last few weeks, It was hard to know, because she didn't know right away how serious the cancer was. If I understand and remember correctly, it was pretty serious and severe. Debbie stayed with us the last couple weeks but I am sure was ready to be home with her daughter by the end. I don't want to go into much detail but Tammy started chemo in December and finished a few weeks ago, she had surgery this week and as far as I know is recovering well from it, but the battle is not over yet. There have been some unexpected bumps in this battle and like all cancer battles it's been a rough time for Tammy, her husband, two little boys, Debbie and the surrounding family and friends. But Debbie tells me that Tammy has maintained a positive attitude and is confident in God's hand in this time of her life. I praise God for this!
I have been holding up Tammy, Brad, Ethan (3), Elijah (6) and Debbie in my prayers over the last few months. They are in my thoughts and my prayers daily and just as I love Debbie, I've come to love her family, even though I don't even know them personally. Who knows, maybe one day I will get the great pleasure of meeting Tammy and her fam, I see potential for some more great times of laughter there! Debbie emailed me a picture of Tammy and her family so at least I can put faces to their names. The picture remains as my computer desktop background as a daily reminder for myself and just to see their smiling faces. It's been quite a journey for them and through Debbie's emails and updates I've experienced some of this journey, but of course not to any extent that they have. My heart hurts for their family and I pray that God's healing hand of mercy is upon Tammy, strength is given to her and those that support her.
Various times I have sat behind my computer reading Debbie's emails with tears streaming down my face, but it was the email that informed me of Tammy losing her hair that really affected me. This is what got me thinking about my own hair.
I loved my long thick hair, even though it drove me nuts half the times and it was getting so long I didn’t know what to do with it anymore most mornings…. Maybe I sound vane by continually repeating that I loved my hair, but maybe I was and cutting it humbled me, and yes I think it did. The thought of donating my hair was on my mind for a couple months before I actually did it. The thought of me not having my hair freaked me out, but the thought of someone else receiving it was a pleasant thought. And there was and still is the reassuring fact that, well, hair grows back! No way! So I researched online places that I could donate my hair to and what their requirements were and decided on Angel Hair for Kids. First step - check. Then I asked my friend Juliette who usually cuts my hair, if she would be willing to do this for me. I even went as far as asking if cutting my hair would ruin it. :P yeah I was scared of short hair, as ridiculous as that sounds. But I did it. And it was weird, has been weird and will continue to get less weird as my hair grows. It was so strange holding that braid in my hands after it'd been cut. That long braid that was usually attached to my head was then laying on my lap! But don't worry, I didn't cry...until two days later when I texted my friend and told her my hair was gone…..and then it was only a few tears until I sucked it up and decided it was really ridiculous to cry over something like my hair.
I didn't like my hair cut, actually I hated it for the first few weeks. It didn't fit into a pony tail and I thought it looked ridiculous curly. My hair was no longer long but it was still thick and wavy and I felt as if without the weight of my hair, it only stuck out…poofy…but it actually wasn't/isn't that bad. I eventually got passed the point of hating it, still didn't like it, but I didn't hate it. And now just very recently I am starting to like it, as it gets longer, that's really all it is . :P But I am glad I did it. I am happy to know that some other lil girl out there will have a lovely wig of hair. This is not something I would do, just cut off most of my hair, it took this inspiration from Tammy, this knowledge that someone else will benefit from my hair cut.
I believe that cutting my hair was a sacrifice for myself, just as my vow of silence was a sacrifice. I gave up something I loved and often took for granted. I gave up something I should appreciate more than I do. Not everyone has a voice, and not everyone has their own hair. In a small way it humbled me. On a very small scale, especially reflecting on this over the Easter weekend, it got me in touch with Jesus' sacrifice, of not his hair obviously, but his life. And God's sacrifice, of his son's life. Reflecting recently on my vow of silence and the act of cutting my hair (okay, saying it that way makes it sound like WAY too much of a big deal…it really isn't that big of a deal….it's hardly even a little deal, it's not actually a deal at all….it's just a hair cut…..ok, tangent over, period.), I've come to like the idea of sacrificing something of myself. It's also made me realise what giving up something for Lent is all about (the lent thing I've never done, but I think I may try in the future, the thought of failure has always stopped me in the past...). I feel that sacrificing something of one's self is a way to experience a little bit of what God did for us. What Jesus did when he gave his life over for us, who are sinners.
I also just want to encourage who ever reads this, that if you didn't or haven't ever or even if you have, sacrifice/give up something of yourself this past Easter, or anytime before this, I encourage you to try, and don't be like me and let the fear of failure stop you. Find courage in the Lord. Relate to Jesus' sacrifice as he related to our life on earth by coming in the form of a human being. And if you have given up something for lent, made a self-sacrifice, I'd love to hear/read about your experience! If you're willing, share it with me please :D
I am going to continue to pray for Debbie, Tammy and their family. And when the glorious day of the end of this battle comes, I will be sure to let you know! Tammy can win this battle, I believe it!
Blessings in Christ
before
uncertainty before
yeah not so sure
maybe?
well it's alright...i guess
yeah I'm getting there....maybe even loving it soon :)
Debbie and I on a boat in Bangkok Thailand. One of my Favs from the trip! I meant to get one of me and her at the school graduation a couple weeks ago, but when I was thinking of it, I couldn't find you Debbie, then I forgot cause I'm loser...catch ya next time my friend!
P.S. school work has kinda taken over my life...thus the blog has been kinda neglected...sorry folks, it's a good thing I am not famous :P
No comments:
Post a Comment